Look at these cute winter boots!

So cute. Such winter.

This is going to be short and… sweet’s the wrong word.

Just short then.

Friends who look like me, I need you to memorize the following phrase:

“I’m sorry, I can’t help you. I don’t know them. Have a nice day!”

Now practice saying it.

Practice saying it with sincerity.

Practice saying it while looking at a picture of a friend.

Learn to keep your face blank, to not let any recognition light in your eyes.

Women, you’ll likely want to add that layer of “ha ha, I don’t get it?” that we all learn to do shortly after the first time we’re scared by a man who needs to feel smarter than us.

Nonbinary pals, just be whoever you have to in the moment to get through it.

Men, you can probably be curt and get away with it.

Now what was the phrase?

Say it again.

And again.

One more time.

Ok, good.

Until next time, dear readers.

-XOXO,

Jess